Plan #3 - Happy Place!

After all of this happened I was skittish of being along. I didn't want to be left with my thoughts. And when I was, I sunk into such a dark place that I couldn't pull myself out of it. I think that is the worst crime these men committed. They made me afraid of myself.

So, since I didn't like that, I changed it. I started intentionally making time to be alone. But not just that, I planned something I could do during that time. I wasn't just going to sit in a corner and mope. I wasn't punishing myself for goodness sakes - I was treating myself! And you know, as I've started doing something every day that makes me happy to be alone, I've stopped feeling like something has been stolen from me. It's making it easier to see the beauty of this world rather than just the darkness in it. I have hope - and it's a hope no one can steal from me because it doesn't depend on anyone but myself, and that is truly a beautiful thing.

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Placing your hope in a better man coming along - or in my case a past boyfriend coming back - is a recipe for disaster.

Allow me to explain...

If another man does come along, and  you're hope is in him saving you or healing you, then you are more likely to ignore (or simply not see) red flags. Let's follow that through. If you can't see or don't listen to those red flags then it is very likely that you are going to get stuck in that relationship, good or bad. Your freedom of choice is gone because you've used your hope to chain yourself to the next man that comes along. Terrible, terrible idea.

But what if we were to put our hope in something else? Something we know to be inherently good? Something that has always brought us peace in the past? What if we changed our focus so that our healing and happiness depended on us rather than someone else... What if we could start that healing now rather than waiting on the perfect guy to come along. What if...

Hence the reason for the title of this post - find your happy place! Find the things you can do that make you happy.

For me that has been going on hikes over the weekend. Running after work along a gorgeous path by my apartment. Watching sappy, goofy movies at night when the memories are hardest to fight. Carving pumpkins with my church group. Eating lunch outside under the awnings. Fishing by the dam....

It really doesn't matter what you do - so long as it doesn't depend on another individual. Get alone and enjoy it! Because, like it or not, you are going to have to live with yourself for the rest of your life. You are the only person guaranteed to be in your life until you pass away.